Coda-Finale. If I forget thee, Salua, I punish the world and the random force of a relentless and unforgiving old god, who expelled me to hell without mercy the eternal recurrence of all errors. If I forget thee, love, pity there is not enough to my torments. Again to end the world if you forget that every moment is over and there is no consolation to let me live memories again. There is nothing left if I forget and fade from my mistakes and my successes also disappear my name and my story.
I love you until the end of world as we swear a lot. I want no part of me still as a shadow and deleted what was not and never return. Because you will not be, love will not be in the days following the end inevitable that we build, I think, even against our possible futures. You will not be to guide my pen, or to inspire my lyrics. You will not be among the infinite love poems that I have left to read, nor among all the novels, sad or not, where will look at your reflection and not feel worthy and to share with you a piece of imagined existence. You're not even your name is still infinite and lonely, your name has to grow only into oblivion and denial incontestable in your absence.
're not anymore and because I knew expel the last moment, according to your desire, beyond where words can reach you. Words, just words like you said. Words are our legacy, and that no repentance or apology will know to return the flavor and appearance of truth. I do not know if we lie, if every promise and oath were false, but the time and what we rewrite each moment and say lie. You lie, Salu, whom I can not I forget, but I also treatment, because after all, for fear, by destination or by violence, we destroy our world.
the end we have nothing if not words. Your last name will be written by only the sum of three words that will lock your image but only the sum of my dreams and my disappointments. My name, hopefully you'll never pronounce but only in dreams, mythology may be the end of your scorn love. But nevertheless, I kept my promise. My words, I love you, Salua, will outlast the world and death. Maybe that's why I know not forget, and if I forget you, punish me with the hatred of an old god and friendless. Do not forget even if you lack and my endless love last as long as you have forgotten. Words, words that are written a longer history than your body and my baby.
We parted with something like a kiss and a hug. But we also parted with harsh words and lies and silences. We said goodbye absent, silent or overt threats of those who call themselves your friends, of those who say that you want. Hopefully. I kept silence, and if you speak, it was only to ask that you take care and do not bring more pain your way. I do not know if what you have said or lied. I guess I imagine resentful and angry, but you are wrong. At the end my thoughts and wishes were nicer than my actions. I can only hope that all wounds heal.
Heal as the stigmata of fire and teeth with which I circled endlessly. Heal and heals with time and lack of novelty. You will heal you, I beg to dream, will heal all the wounds they did to your soul before me, all wounds heal did not know or understand myself and, ultimately, the enemy forced you to look at me and I deleted all traces what I wanted to be. You will heal, will heal, because I wanted to be and you let me no longer matters. Is just what I am. And what I am bearing your name etched in blood, ink and wax do not forget. Will heal, my old lost love, if we remind ourselves and not to repeat in other faces and other hands, such as repeating yourself in my hands the fears of other times.
No matter the story we tell each one by hand, more stories full of longing and fear than truth or anything. The story is that we wanted and therefore gave us moments of happiness, but also why whole sleepless nights, tears and goodbye. For we want to finish. And because we did not know. For the love ended in something like hatred and that hatred was born a distant love that will not be, neither I nor anyone.
After we're you and I am. But we will not. After us, these words to make mistakes and successes. Words that will witness the scars, but will be the indelible traces of the horrible way that I loved. We got hurt, Salua, but will heal if you choose. And every day I'll love you even if you're not happy until you are. From time to time say your name so do not forget to summarize in a word infinite and lonely all the happiness I wanted to give you and I could not, but also all the pain that I avoided even if you wanted. In your name I have not ever forgive you. And if I forget you love, pity there is not enough to my torment. To clear the comfort of this world is only what I am and I can not be. And even worse if you forgive.
Sorry Salua. Take in life, the weight of my guilt and yours. And if you ever forget you, come the world and repeat. But also take the baby born with no end of guilt, which turned it down without making you guilty final, even more than me. For the last time, with your name in mind, I raise my pen to write your name. For the last time I say goodbye to each name that I learned to call. And I say final goodbye Lomaram. Inom goodbye. To never love jirafita sad. Farewell, Salua, because you do not forget. Because even if you're not, you'll be in my old words as promised without lying at all, I love you without end. I love you without end and without right. I love you but you are not and will not be. Although I will not forgive.
If I forget thee, Salua, I punish the world and remind me what I am. And even worse if you forgive. Forget me if you can, until it is in your mind or in mine and that this will come peace or punishment. But I'll take you into the body without forgetting and no forgiveness, because it depends not repeat yourself in your body or others with another face and hands. 'll Add to our guilt until you get your happiness. And even later.
lift the pen and write:
I love you, Salua, without end. For the last time your nombre, Salua Aramoni Quintero, que acaso baste para para dar paso en silencio a la distancia en que no estarás aunque te quise sin final.
Silencio sostenido
y
Adiós.
Octubre 20, 2009 — Junio 01 de 2010
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