A. You'll love, this electronic fantasy allows me to find while we are away. You'll love, from this screen and this life that develops between bits and bytes, without a body, where your image is poor consolation of an absence that is not exceeded. Is it too much, I think sometimes I love you as the time when you want. Perhaps too, dream of you as you sleep in as long as you sleep. Is it too.
Too much, love too love you and I feel I have and destroys the soul when she finally meets the curse that I threw on my mind. You go, this fantasy love electronics, and as you go head starts hurting, I feel in the shoulders a huge weight, I feel cheated as Hercules, punishable as Atlas, the world on my shoulders, a slight fever that climbs me from gripping my stomach and heart. Fever of Sisyphus and his rock useless, Prometheus and his liver forever. A fever that I know now describe and attempt to sublimate into words that will never read. Words, just because I have no power or place to mourn now, mourn when I am left only with hopelessness and fear more irrational and idiotic in my entire life. Return, I know. Return and match your hands in mine, we kiss again without limit as if it were our last night on earth. Fever runs from the eyes and not know and can not mourn because I have spent quite a lifetime, to the fingers that jump, with incredible speeds near the speed of thought, jump on the white keyboard has served prior to write words most beautiful and most honest ever written a mediocre writer, in love with a beautiful on top has a boyfriend.
you go, love, paradise, this ruthless reality of wonders to spend time, hours, minutes, and was a second with him. And I will not be supported without writing, without imagining here, as if suddenly you had split and most importantly stay with me here in the virtual pages blank. I wonder if you think of me, if you feel you will be different after my hands yesterday sought to learn every line of your face with closed eyes, to make you much more than an image or a body to be able to recognize each piece of me if I lose my light as I have been gone now. I will light because you go, love, paradise and get lost for moments, minutes, hours, seconds, whatever, you get lost there, in the only place I can imagine I do not want because I lack the courage.
And it is not the first time I'm on this side, aware that someone goes out there, with another, when it should be me. But it is the first time that it hurts so much, when I caught this desperation that I can shake off just writing, writing that it hurts, but it's a sweet pain that I almost comforting, because after many years I thought longer able to feel something. This sense of relevance and necessity, far, far away like you now, this feeling of affection honest, honestly that is not enough and that no matter what the world brings, will be unable to leave you while you do not say, enough.
not say enough love, even if you go now, even if you go again tomorrow and, although increasingly the moments you spend with him and not me. Do not say simply, love. Have fun, I said. As the world's biggest idiot I told you. Have fun. And I will not tie you down, do not want to invent ties I have no right. I want you to be free, absolutely free, so create me from there to the fantasy that one day you will change your circumstances and then the world will be less painful, less desperate. So, then. But for now, I am happy that I say, enough. In you go, but come back. I care what you are now on their way to other arms and other arms, what else gives me love that I've gone for the first time or can not find words. What else you leave me, love, this ruthless virtual reality and you will find shops with or without nostalgia, in that other reality of seats, and chat where you do not even dare to think my name, and if you dare to think not what you say and if you say, say what without love. My name away, my name reduced to nothing more than words. While I, here in agony free and happy, the world's sweetest agony, I hope and I write, eager to return and then when you return, you will be the most beautiful and unexpected miracle, the most unexpected and undeserved love for having taken all my life.
hurts, love, you go into his arms. It hurts to miss for a while in the dark where I can not imagine I want. It pains me to imagine that you kiss in greeting and that even the most desperate of my hundred and one used to hold off their greedy lips of yours. It hurts your hand, to be with him. It pains me to hug you and I do not think it hurts me more than I'm willing to take even support it anyway and imagine. Love hurts, you go into his arms. But that pain is sweet because it means I love you like never want anyone. Because it is quite miraculous indifference to have woken up once to find you. Is quite miraculous and have learned to love after cancer y. You'll love, and I stay. I am alone with your memory to bite with despair and fear but I'm sure you'll be back. Bite your memory and not smoking, or seek relief in alcohol or else you think you there with him, and think of you at the same time, against all reason and good understanding, thinking of you here, then on the morning of this day that I die in despair. Pensarte here, love, when you come back and be my only miracle, my only faith, the only pain that I appreciate more because it does not end.
That does not end love that never ends. Sal, leave this paradise fake screens, bits and bytes for later. Meet with him, kiss him, love him damn it if you need it. Enjoy and be happy in every moment that you're not with me so that when you return, may I, with the alchemy desperate and slanderers of my love, show you that there is no happiness there, everything is dull when you return my arms, when you hear my words and start to believe that I love. Go love, but comes back, but always returns also go forever.
I've been jealous before, I confess. And I've been unfaithful. And I was the other. And I was the one. But now I'm none of these positions all a silly game where someone sent someone dominates. No my love, right here on the screen, my world is changing. My heart hurts because being born again from the beginning. If I was jealous is because I was insecure because it was silly, because they loved her, but his image. If I cheated was also not loving, not wanting any of that time and so on. If I was the one with obvious contempt of one, or was the one clearly despised by the other, it was because deep down, what else was to be one or the other when nothing is mine I do not care. Now, however, no jealousy, no loyalty, or fear. Nothing. I am not, love you but what you are missing, it can in any measure to be innocent little pointless, as you can, love to make you happy, make you smile.
Not that I mind love, it hurts. But that pain is sweet and dark, is like playing Russian roulette with the heart stopping and expect a miracle the bullet matches the wish I dare not confess. Well let you go, have fun tonight with a damn, damn first night of endless night damn that never ends, let go and, with a fun, is the only way I have to let you know that I want so that it is better to bite the liver and finish your remember even thinking about the possibility that you leave. I love you like you, with all of it, though it hurts me. It hurts, it kills me to accept, but I prefer you shared so you will not ever leave. Maybe not enough, maybe I just can not cumplirte my promise to make you happy as long as the body and strength. Perhaps I need help and by contrast, little by little my love will seem more real than words, rhetoric or dreams.
You'll love, I am alone. Just for a while to bite your memory, to fight hard and your smile up, against the temptation to get drunk Raptor, cut my arm a bit of bite my tongue and gouge my eyes out like Oedipus. I am alone love, with the most idiotic impulses, most painful and sweet that I have never filled the body. Because I know how much you hurt me I love you. And so I want to hurt me again, I finished the nausea over my body, my bloodshot eyes the first tear loose and funky fever does not leave me alone all night. For thus, the more it hurts, I'm more sure that I love. And perhaps you too.
You'll love, you lose. I am sure. But at least back to me tonight. And with a smile will erase my fears. With a few words will change what you lived away from me tonight, about him, that is a miracle, the only true fear and trembling of my life. The deeper the abyss, more beautiful light. The more it hurts the body, the more I enjoy health. The more cruel to kill me, better know how to live the life you give me. Acabame, ends with me to madness. The cry of my sorrow fill the sky and resonate, reverberate love, until there is no place, space, until it fills. Desgráciame, love, to madness, so that when you come back, when you change your circumstances, the scar is deep, is a tattoo that does not allow me to forget or inadvertently, you are a miracle. They do not deserve you and I chose. Do not stop for a moment to be amazed because you're here because you came back. Because nothing I can do to deserve you, because I'm not better than others. And yet, not say enough. Pieces make me love, so you will not be sure that I love you without end.
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