I love you. That is the first and the last, is all that is there always, at all times and in all trials or all fears. My love for you does not change or off. Continues to grow, continues to growing every day, every hour, every moment. I start there, that's the only thing worth saying, because even now it costs me a bit of work start to write. But I promised to write every day and usually do not break my promises. You know, the honor, the name. Love, especially love.
That crazy love, that love silly, this love key, door, love of eternity. That love that makes me change the mood and brings me into a nervous wreck because love is made vulnerable and put it all in the hands of a loved one, a crazy bet, which is almost always lost if not always lost.
But you're not them, not me. You are you and for you I fell in love. It is true, you hurt me and hurt me more distant and rather indifferent. But that I love you. It is true, I pity your time with it, your inability to talk about it after everything I've got Miles and others. It pains me to trust you, make me feel like some analysis. And you say you do not trust him. Because if you do not trust him or you did not trust him, then why? And that is enough to drive you crazy one, wanting to go out and get some cigarettes at midnight. And say, in silence, to convince, to feel a little less silly. She does not like me. And she, of course, is you.
So be it. I love you. And I love your shade at your side. Although you have deleted the photo which I loved to watch. I like that it hurts and it hurts me more than ever, as anyone. But at some point I have to put order in this gray and restless existence that begins every morning in my room with me thinking of you and you thinking of him. Today was one of those days. I honestly do not know how many days like today can handle without hurting. And I, like you, prefer to go before hurting you, before you even think that's possible. I love you. But clearly you can not separate, you were not able until today, until a while ago when we talked and said it was very easy. How easy can be if you could not?
I love you, love with this fool, this crazy love that is opposed to everything I know and all my expectations. And I'm here, between fear and trembling, hoping against hope they really do not go. But then you learn to write about 'forever' with different durations, 'forever' of you can talk even past. In the conditional. When finished. And there again, have one to go crazy.
tell me beautiful things, things I've been waiting a lifetime to hear. And my life is considerably longer than my thirty years. Tell me what I need to get on bended knee and think that I have home, I returned to Arcadia. But you always find the way to put the end a 'maybe', a 'maybe', a 'however' that like the night before, broke your promise to write at least once every two days.
When you love like I love you, can not but feel that 'however' to the world. Because one is completely helpless. Know that love does not deserve or require, love gives and conforms with the little or much he or decision by a miracle touch others. But miracles do not happen often. And your choices are still a lot to do with others. So my love fool, my crazy love, trust, between fear and trembling. But my reason is relentless. And my reason, white snake on my back, says that even have a boyfriend because I still want to have it. And if you ask, if you say, if you offer, perhaps has more to do with morality than with a baby. You are where you want to be because that want to be. I have to deal with it at all costs or lose. It becomes clear that not want to move.
But I love you, I do not lose by choosing what you choose. And I think, because I have a terrible need to believe you and to live there, thinking, covering her mouth to that snake. Closing his eyes, the reason, look like mad, crazy love who can say 'No matter, yet you love your way '. And with that, I love your way, just me and spare me. Because the world is better with you here, well, there, with your shadow, but from time to time, here with me. My situation is impossible that I can not leave because I do not want to leave. Although one day, of course, have to leave.
Before I do another couple of burns. Bleed again by the leg and all my wounds. And I'll finish the liver and stomach. Because for me, are more important than any of those bodies who can only get sick useless. You are my light. And I could not return to live in the shadow.
If you look to care, behind every phrase, every pain or sadness, looks a size I love you world. Infinite as the eternal return. Endless as time. Deep as death. I love you. That's what I mean after all this, with every word. Sometimes you show your wounds and says 'look', not to make others feel bad, but only because they are the only true testimony, material, physical extent to which the body can jeopardize life or love. Perhaps selfishly, seeking a little comfort, a tender hand that will take up alcohol or wine and a kiss, a kiss god. Tell you what hurts me is in any way tell you I love you. Because you have a lot to love not go crazy. To respect your desire for solitude. To respect your time and engagement. You have to love you with mad love. And from time to time, hit the wall.
I love you, honey. And I would always remember the 24 as a new holiday and private. A feast is held only in the garden that we are trapped in endless paper library and where we can build the world. Twenty-four as a day of creation, engagement, closure. But I want to celebrate when you want to celebrate, not when you do anything just because it makes me feel a little less miserable. I dedicate all my days and invent a new calendar of festivals, of August 11 for example, the first day I saw you. When not let me see you just to make me feel better, but because you could not do anything, because you were where you wanted to be and how you wanted to be. Of our first discussion. The first caress. The celebration of the variations. And one day, have a full calendar, with three hundred sixty-six days of festivities that take your face, your name, your love. Some days, spread over three parties from dawn to night.
And I want to live with me. And I want to marry you in a secret ceremony, and without God. And I want so much. So many plans, so many dreams. But you're away. And to me the distance I shatters the soul. I like to miss. But I like to leave you there with your shadows. Have not told me that whatever happened, you can not know with what eyes look at me, through the skin of who you are judging me. So, while my crazy love, happy love, Christian love, love credulous faith tells me that dreams are won with will, courage or sacrifice. Though my love love me say that my honor and my name should suffice. That is always my snake, my accuser, my demon. My dreams built on air. My house of cards. And everything looks so precarious, it seems that I have no future.
I love you. I will not leave you ever. Even if I spend my life waiting. Waiting in the night to come back the circus. Waiting on a vacation to come back from the shadows. Waiting to decide to trust and surrender. Always waiting, as I almost thirty years. Another thirty are not to be so difficult. In this way perhaps no longer feel alone know, because you always have me. I love you. I love you free, I love you happy. I love you as you were before me. I love you so I do not care to change you. I love you with your buts, your phone though and maybe. I love you with your He and your other attorney and your wounds and your scars and your eyes out of focus that I see as a reflection of others I'm not. I love all of you because I love you. And I will not let go, more to come on other days, thousands, thousands of days that feel I've lost and I feel a fool for love. What I want is to love without end, without asking anything, without requiring you. According to what I play in the lottery of fate. Love the outcome in the lottery of fate, because either way, whatever you bring me tomorrow or next month, will take your name. And your name I want to define my life, I write my destiny.
course, you know. No one will love you like I love you. And I understand that sometimes you do not think I am. Because this is not common and will not happen to you in life. No one will love you so, as I love you. Never again. And I think it is time to open your eyes, make you stronger, and choice. We can grow together, dispelling darkness and live always involved in the light of your smile. You may also continue keeping your light to project yourself shadows. Use your light to talk to shadows on the wall. And I will not go, but I know you will not shut you because if you waste in this way the eternal promise of your name. I'll be your white snake. And we can not see us in the eyes in the darkness, my hand will feel like your back. And all the light, my love, will have escaped the world. And our library is full of books that will not read ever. And all the world's paper is blank.
I love you. And so, for the first time I dare to invite you to beg you choose. You choose well. Do not leave me here, waiting for a lifetime. I'm not one to ask you this. But I love you with mad love, with love door key love, love that gives eternity. So today I will be brave, but my snake tells me to shut up, today I ask you to choose. Choose either love, chooses for you. Shines. Fill in the world. And after us the deluge.
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